seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
