I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
