i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
