so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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