..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
