I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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