I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I don't deserve a penis
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
