her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
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I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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