Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
