I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
