drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
