Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
