theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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