The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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