Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
