This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
