This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
