I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
