sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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