i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
