"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out