Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
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complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
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At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.