Texts From Last Night

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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i wish peter jackson would direct porn

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  (715): i wish peter jackson would direct porn http://tfl.nu/76vz
  Replies (14) Good night (3950) Bad night (820)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  stop calling my apartment porn island.

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  (678): stop calling my apartment porn island. http://tfl.nu/7ji0
  Replies (15) Good night (5033) Bad night (810)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.

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  (740): becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard. http://tfl.nu/avz2
  Replies (6) Good night (1070) Bad night (2709)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"

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  (817): This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here" http://tfl.nu/277o
  Replies (9) Good night (3559) Bad night (1455)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.

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  (504): Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now. http://tfl.nu/h0mp
  Replies (9) Good night (2985) Bad night (945)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.

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  (315): I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry. http://tfl.nu/6f2v
  Replies (3) Good night (2879) Bad night (941)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.

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  (920): That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake. http://tfl.nu/1ph6
  Replies (6) Good night (1064) Bad night (2309)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played

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  (216): Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played http://tfl.nu/8t1m
  Replies (7) Good night (1884) Bad night (1130)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War

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  (704): If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War http://tfl.nu/ppmx
  Replies (1) Good night (889) Bad night (676)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.

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  (905): It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms. http://tfl.nu/s3t3
  Replies (3) Good night (964) Bad night (478)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Denial, avoidance and beer.

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  (312): Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013. (312): Denial, avoidance and beer. http://tfl.nu/o423
  Replies (3) Good night (1109) Bad night (476)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal

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  (870): Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal http://tfl.nu/uj9w
  Replies (9) Good night (844) Bad night (352)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.

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  (970): There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner. http://tfl.nu/d05g
  Replies (2) Good night (541) Bad night (346)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.

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  (303): That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown. http://tfl.nu/5k1c
  Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (381)
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  (323): View more from California

  The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"

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  (323): The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role" http://tfl.nu/uhmh
  Replies (1) Good night (686) Bad night (250)

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