after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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