i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.