yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Semen is not good for contacts.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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