Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
