SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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