Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
