I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
