normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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