from now on my penis is your penis
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The uberlube is also flammable
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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