Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
