i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
