Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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