just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
