Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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