People in love make me want to vomit
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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