mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
