Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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