i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
