I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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