think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
