I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
