Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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