Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
