How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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