I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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