she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
