I have demons in me.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
