He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
