think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
