Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize