I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
