i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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