if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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