You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
