READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
