Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
