Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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