omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
