Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
