Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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