He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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