Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
